Perfect the way it is

Sometimes I feel like my husband and I could be doing so much more with each other. I see other couples and the things they do with one another, the places they go, the pictures of happy outings and exotic travels. Needless to say these couples don’t have children yet, which is probably the main reason that me and the husband don’t go anywhere special; we’ve got a toddler who depends on us.

We don’t have time set aside for one another. He’s always at work and when he’s not he’s relaxing and taking some time for himself. It’s not that I mind this actually; we’re both a bit introverted and neither of us really minds being in the same room and doing our own things.

It’s not all ‘ships passing in the night’ for us though. We’ve got a healthy sex life, we can make each other laugh, he tells me about work and I tell him about the arguments I had with strangers online and what the kids’ new favorite phrases are. Still though, it’s a little depressing when I see my sister-in-law posting pictures of her and my brother going all over the place, planning trips to europe, wine tasting, cafe hopping, trips to theme parks together.

I would love to get out more with my husband, but at the same time I’m happy just laying in bed all morning on the weekends just being next to him. Could it be that I’m only lusting after what most find ‘normal’ couple behavior? I think it’s safe to say that’s the case. My brother and sister-in-law are having issues in their marriage that she confided in my sister about so now their travels just feel like a desperate attempt to hold things together to me.

My life is great as is. The husband and I don’t attempt to force ourselves to do things for the sake of doing them or keeping an interest in one another. We just do them when we want and are satisfied even if we don’t. I know from the outside it may look like we’re a bit estranged because we spend so little time going out and doing ‘couple’ things, but I’d rather things look broken but be working than look like they’re working and be broken. Coincidently, when our marriage was at its rockiest we went out much more frequently than we do now, but it was always a hollow gesture in an attempt to save something that had been crumbling.

Some couples go out and spend time doing things together as often as they can. Some couples are content just sitting in the same room occasionally speaking. It works for us because we both like the space and our own thoughts. Things are great the way they are, we love one another, we don’t make the typical display most couples make and that’s okay because not everyone expresses their feelings for others in the same ways.


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